I am looking around and I am struck by the ambiguity surrounding my work and social environment. It seems to get harder and harder for a woman to look at a young attractive man without thinking that he might be ‘not interested’. I reckon that at least 40% of my male colleagues are gays indeed – put it in number, that’s around 4 out of 10 that are sitting right here. The rest are either young happy fathers or rich, conservative, matured cheddars.
Leave the office, heading down the pub, to a club on Friday night, or to a home dinner with friends, and again – the percentage of sexual ambiguity grows in parallel with the number of people I meet.
Now this could be unsubstantiated but I manage to be very spontaneous, lain-forward without fear to be misinterpreted when I am next to my ambiguous? pals. Communication is fluid and enjoyable. I feel different as if I am stepping into a different social role where he is not hunting and I am not hiding nor provoking. In short, a person-to-person (P2P) rather than cock-to-cunt conversation model (C2C).
This is the shy beginning of a future great achievement for human beings: the liberalisation and democratisation of roles, regardless of gender and sexual orientation.
The witnessing of this slow erosion of gendered roles and socio-cultural structures is forcing me to reinvent myself to be able to ‘compete’ or simply ‘establish my presence’ in the society based on different, unexplored elements. Yet, most of the time we women are still trapped into old taboos or forced to adopt what seems to be working – a realist model, dominated by relationship-of-power and brutality.
But because I am of the view that it is not the destination but the way there that counts – I keep on walking and telling, when I can, my stories of search of freedom.
…
Breaky in Stokey 